As I sit on my last flight from Johannesburg to Cape Town, South Africa, I can't help but feel excitement and nervousness all at the same time. I already love my cohort and I'm beyond excited to get to know each person over the next four months! To say the least, I am excited for what God has to teach me this semester and terrified of the lessons altogether.
I sat teary-eyed on the bus to LAX and remembered what a friend said to me. She looked me in the eye said something that I will never forget:
"Do the things that scare you."
It gave me chills. Right then I realized my responsibility. The kind that none of us can escape.
I laughed and mumbled to myself "crap, what did I get myself into?"
You know that feeling when God reveals something so radical and insane that requires a complete change of life styles and all there is to say is WHY GOD?! Why did you reveal this to me? Because now I will be held accountable.
Accountability sucks sometimes. It forces us to do challenging things and stay committed to ourselves and the people around us. But it also calls us to a better way of living and a renewed sense of God's calling. It's truly beautiful in the end.
Now, I'm sitting here on an extremely turbulent airplane sitting next to people I just met a couple of days ago and I guess you could say that I'm off to a good start. Starting with my extreme fear of flying, I have already begun to do the things that scare the shit out of me.
Weirdly, I feel an amazing sense of peace. I keep repeating to myself that His presence is all I need. Even in situations where He seems to be distant or not there at all, I whisper to myself that all I need is God's presence. I wrote it on my hand as a reminder.
I'm singing and proclaiming it over my day, week, month, and year.
Receive His presence. Be comforted from the fact that He goes before us and beside us and all around us. He is with us constantly.
It's funny how God hears our plans and knows our hearts. I like to think he chuckles at our pathetic attempt to plan out our entire lives because of our need for a sense of peace. Just three months ago, I would have laughed if someone told me I was going to South Africa for four months. This semester, I will be redefining peace. It no longer consists of my organized schedule but instead is filled with God's perfect presence throughout my journeys and adventures in life.
So Lord, I trust You on this incredible journey of a lifetime.
This trip, I am praying for the opening of my eyes and the breaking of my heart for God's people. God seems to be teaching me much about this new definition of ministry. One that requires a different life and to be honest, requires me to be uncomfortable.
This is good for you, I repeat to myself, this is good.
If you're reading this, do something that scares you today. What is there to fear? His love has already covered us completely.
Two blocks away from home in Fish Hoek!
Our day in the city today consisted of this beautiful view!